“Haven’t you read that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the to will become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:6). Christians view marriage as a holy thing, but some view sex badly. Sex is key to a marriage and it was created by God to unite man to his wife. It is a beautiful and pleasurable thing meant to be shared by a married couple. Without an exciting sex life or a sense of deep intimacy, a marriage will weaken as time goes on. Since I am an unmarried college student, I had to get most of these facts from my mother who has been married for 12 years. Most of these ideas come straight from her.

At the beginning of marriage, have a lot of sex. Even though sex seems scary and intimidating, it will help strengthen the marriage in its first few months. This is the honeymoon phase of the marriage and, at this point, if the couple chooses to be virgins until marriage, the two are learning how to work sexually with one another. This is the time for exploration and trying new things. At this stage of marriage, different positions or locations are great ways to not only make sex more fun but to also keep it fresh and new each time.

Once children come along, the sex life will slow down again and probably will never return to where it was before children. When children come along, life is committed to taking care of children. Good parents put their children before themselves; therefore, the couple’s sex life is put on the back burner in order to make their children’s lives better.

After children, the couple has the free time to have sex again; however, the couple’s sex drive might not be as high. Menopause slows down the sex drive in women according to epigee.org. Obesity and age also affect sex drive. Even though sex drive is lessened, the need for intimacy still exists. Intimacy and romance are key necessities to marriage and are required for a marriage to be successful. Other forms of intimacy include holding each other, hugging, kissing and other personal things that only the couple knows.  These are also ways a couple can be intimate before they are married if they have made the choice to be virgins or celibate until marriage.

My mother gave me a lot of good information about marriage and sex that needs to be shared with the community. Sex with someone you love is better than sex with a random person because sex with someone you love is a true expression of oneself rather than just an attempt at getting pleasure. Romance and intimacy are the glue of a marriage and without them the couple can be on a path toward divorce. The best advice I got from my mother was the beautiful quote she said to me, “Sex is a part of marriage but understanding, forgiveness, effort, communication, respect, laughter, sharing memories and putting your spouse before yourself is more important.”

Barnes is a freshman majoring in English and secondary education. Comments can be sent to [email protected].